Saturday, December 31, 2005

My Date With Drew - a no-name nebbish wins 1100 on a gameshow pilot and uses his winnings to document his quest for a date with actress/producer Drew Barrymore.He has had a crush on her since the age of 10.At times this is like watching a documentary of the 40 Year Old Virgin - he even has the body hair to match and one of his friends has the action figure collection.This is the ultimate underdog story and the protaginist is so charming that I found myself rooting for him.At times frustrating,humorous and surprising- a fun documentary. B+

Broken Flowers - Jim Jarmusch directed flick about a bachelor(Bill Murray) who recieves an anonymous note from an ex that he sired an offspring 20 years prior.His Krameresque neighbor Winston gets the Murray character to compile a list of his girlfriends from that time period.Winston compiles an intenerary complete with hotels and dossiers on his exes.Bill Murray(Don Johnston) than revisits his exes trying to find out if they were the ones that sent the letter.A nice mix of comedy and drama. B+

Wedding Crashers -over the top buddy comedy about a couple of guys that crash weddings to score bridesmaids.Vince Vaughan is playing the Vince Vaughan character and Owen Wilson is playing the Owen Wilson character- in other words if you have seen Swingers,Old School,Mr & Mr Smith- you know what you are getting from Vaughan- this character does seem to fit his anything for a yuck persona and is slightly less annoying than his turn in Swingers. There is some funny stuff in here- but I was underwhelmed after all of the hype. C

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Black Narcissis - a stunning film from 1947 about a gaggle of nuns in a palace in a remote part of Asia.Deborah Kerr is the lead in this film as she tries to maintain order and piety in a former retreat for the king's harem.Although this movie was shot entirely on a sound stage it manages to convey the Himlayan village flawlessly.The visuals in this film are top-notch from the gorgeous matte paintings to great transitions - this is one movie I wish I could see in the theater- although the DVD transfer was superb.The DVD contains a 27 minute documentary about the making of the film and the trailer and commentary.It is a joy to watch a movie that totally envelops the senses and makes such a deep impression- from the mulitple issues of faith to the colorful garb of Sabu the flick had me from the first scene to the climax. A+

Night of The Hunter - several stories in one- another classic flick -this one from 1955 starring Robert Mitchum as the bible-spouting killer Harry Powell.Interesting story structure and some great cinematography make this a great mix of suspense and drama.Mitchum is superb(although a little hammy at times) as the insanely righteous woman hating peacher/con. This movie had some swell use of light and shadow. A

American Pie presents Band Camp - straight to DVD and soon to the cutout bins- well Eugene Levy is in this flick- and well this one @ band camp the counselors looked like strippers and we have topless counselors in the shower- and Stiffler's little brother - this is terrible - even for a teen boob-a-rama flick and totally crappy as a camp flick( check out Wet Hot American Summer for a funny take on summer camp). D-

Shooting Gallery - on the cheap pool-hall hustler flick with Freddie Prinze,Jr. , Ving Rhames and Roselyn Sanchez populate this world of betting and violence- nothing new is added to the world- just a time waster straight to video D-

Thursday, December 22, 2005


2046- a hypnotic mix of pretty people,noir-sci-fi love story thing. B+
Grizzly Man- entrancing look at a guy determined to live with Grizzly Bears in the wild- captured by Werner Herzog- the guy liked the bears- but he was a naive dreamer stuck in reality- neat documentary. B+
The Football Factory- the soccer hooligan movie with some obvious influences- including a note for note take on the "funny how" scene from Goodfellas.Nothing special or memorable. C

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Redskins 35 Cowboys 7

wow- my team is skitzo this season- thank god they beat the Boys twicet.

4 Brothers -the epitome of the big dumb American movie- plotholes the size of the grand canyon- a big dick swinging contest mixed with revenge and macho bonding and a blaxploitation soundtrack.Not as fun or funny as Roadhouse or Stone Cold. Mama Mercer is dead- her 4 adopted sons come back for the funeral- they turn into detectives and murderize several folks trying to get at the TRUTH . They discover some things- but they roll over everyone's civil rights and assualt several folks- seriously this movie could be 9-11- Iraq war metaphor- we wuz wronged on Sept 11 and get our revenge by murderizing several folks in Iraq- and we ain't going to jail . D-

Serenity has the same villian that 4 Brothers has- well the same actor Chiwetel Ejiofor .
Beyond that this sci-fi western was more believable than 4 Brothers . Sernity was inspired by the failed Joss Whedon show Firefly.Basically a ship of outlaws take on the Alliance. Lots of good action and effects. B+

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Grey Knight:Director's Cut

An odd movie -a civil war movie with um vampires- decently done- from 1992-edited by Monte Hellman -directed by George Hickenlooper- this movie has also been known as Ghost Brigade and Grey Night . Basically a grisly murder is found in a border state with several solidiers crucified- a tracker is sent to find the regiment accused of the murders.This is a decent time-waster of a supernatural murder mystery thing.Look for former WCW champ David Arquette,Billy Bob Thorton, & Martin Sheen. C-

Roller Derby and food

for the first time since the NBA finals I went out with my friends Al- why cuz- our friend Mike had mentioned he was going to roller derby-
turned out it was an exhibition in a a nightclub- the floor was too small for the ensuing mayhem- so the teams had less skaters to make room for the skaters
I got there too early- so Al and I and his friend went to Bodega - it was decent - I had the duck confit and sampled the airline chicken and had rosemary potatoes.Then we went back to the show- the warmups were over and um they were selling spankings- it was rather tame and um time-wasting.During the night the DJ was playing stuff like the Buzzcocks,Sex Pistols and The Stooges- I really wanted to hear Billy Preston(the theme from the ROller Derby on ESPN classic)- but it was nice to hear that stuff.The actual event was pretty short- 3 rounds - even now I have only a vague notion of how this sport works- so basically for 20 minutes or so scantily glad women skated in circles and knocked each other over- not bad for voyuer glimpses of undergarments and such I guess. Then it was over......
Went to Dennys after- um Dennys is lame

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Lucas - Underdog story in 80's high school form. Corey Haim is the undersized hero of the flick- he befriends the cute new girl in town- they have a montage of bonding until school starts.Then the usual social stuff kicks in.Enjoyable flick with Jeremy Piven,Courtney Thorne Smith,Charlie Sheen & Winona Ryder. B-

Roadie fun and unven and unrealistic movie about Travis W.Redfish the best roadie ever.Starring Meatloaf as a beer delivery driver who gets seduced by Kaki Hunter to join the Rock-N-Roll Circus.Cast includes Alice Cooper,Joe Spano,Don Cornelius,Blondie,Roy Orbison & Bocephus.Sort of a Roadhouse meets Almost Famous meets Spinal Tap. A fun b-movie. C+

Monday, December 12, 2005

Shopping - a 1994 flick with a young Jude Law as an ex-con who gets his kicks by leading the coppers(lead by Jonathan Pryce) on high speed chases in stolen vehicles.Vaguely interesting rebel without a cause flick- and yes ladies Jude Law is shirtless in a few scenes. C-

Born Yesterday - Judy Holliday is the sympathetic ex-showgirl who is partners with a bullying corrupt millionaire junkman played by Broderick Crawford.Crawford feels that his gf is too stoopid to be hanging with the fancy Washington types - so he hires a smooth talking reporter(William Holden) to learn her some book knowledge and whatnot.Of course Holliday learns too much and falls for the smart guy.Holliday won an Oscar for her performance.This movie is very dated- but still an interesting watch- sort of like "My Fair Lady" meets Anna Nicole Smith or something- adapted from a stageplay. B-

Sunday, December 11, 2005

Roll Bounce

Maybe it was low expectations after seeing several middling pics in a row- but I was pleasantly surprised by Roll Bounce - an charming and fun flick about teens in the roller disco era- Bow Wow was the lead in this movie playing X a son who is still grieving for his recently deceased mother.Chi Mcbride does a great job as a father who is looking for work while trying to hold his family together and deal with the passing of his beloved.For the most part this is a comedy- the kids cut on each other the whole flick- and it is fun.The crosstown rival is Sweetness- who is like the pimpdaddy of roller disco- he has an entourage including 3 hotties who have shirts that read "a weakness for Sweetness".The gag reel has some hilarious stuff with Charlie Murphy riffing .
A good coming of age flick. Probably the second best rental coming out this week-right behind 40 Year Old Virgin B+

The Chronicles of Narnia:The Lion,The Witch and The Wardrobe -nothing spectacular - a classic story retold with all thenew toys- but it just did not work for me- the talking CGI critters seemed a bit off and none of the leads really radiated much charisma.Still this is a fun yarn which should be a good ride for kids and parents alike. C+

Bad News Bears (2005-Linklater remix) - Billy Bob Thorton is the reviving his town drunk persona from Bad Santa -once again he has access to the kiddies and once again he is spweing forth profanity and politically incorrect language - none of this bothers me- but it did not entertain me- the movie lacked the charms of the original( the new Tanner is mere Xerox of the original).Skip this D-

Saturday, December 10, 2005

The Baxter- dissapointing parody of the romantic comedy genre starring Michael Showalter with Paul Rudd,Micheal Ian Black and others.Basically a Baxter is the guy women settle for when they don't snag Prince Charming- this premise was done better in Steve Martin's 80's flick The Lonely Guy . Imagine watching a comedy waiting for the punchline- a few chuckles aside that was the Baxter . D

The Island - stuff got blowed up real good - well not really- but Micheal Bay and his ilk think that explosions will take the place of good story telling- the idea behind the movie is interesting- a population of clones kept in reserve for their sponsors- but the execution and the over abundance of people yelling "Run" and stuff exploding took the soul out of this movie- and the concept is not all that new- just a mix of Logan's Run, Bladerunner & The Running Man- skip this unless you just absolutely need to see Scarlett Johannsen or Ewan McGregor in a tight white jumpsuit. D-

Genisis fun nature documentary about life and nature and whatnot- fun for a rental if you life biology stuff B-

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Cinderella Man- typical underdog story based on true events during the great depression- think Seasbiscuit for the pugilistic set.What saves this flick is Russell Crowe as the Bulldog Jim Braddock-his speech to the promoters for a few schillings so he can save his family is up there with Tom Hank's speech to the troops in Saving Private Ryan-good stuff. B
Dukes of Hazard- lifeless update of the hit TV show-the jokes fall flat and the story is a typical retread.Avoid. D-

Saturday, December 03, 2005

not by me- but funny (ok I am a rasslin fan)

You Might Enjoy Wrestling Too Much If... * When you go to a Japanese restaurant, you start a "USA! USA!" chant. * When you girlfriend dumps you, you tell her she couldn't "play with the big boys," and that she will never get past mid-card status. * When you search and search the bible for the book of Austin. * If you can actually remember Sting's last public words. * If on a job application, you state your residence as "parts unknown." * If you quit your Job because you have to find your "Smile." * When you're getting beat up in a bar fight, but you honestly believe that with a little crowd support, you can turn this thing around. * If you hit your co-worker in head with a chair while your manager is distracting him. * When you look for Sting on the back of the milk carton during breakfast. * When a guy steals your girl, you consider it an angle. * When you rack your neighbor's dog. * When you attend a graduation, and yell "Ooooooh yeah!" when 'Pomp and Circumstance' plays. * When you are involved in a bar fight with a guy twice your size and you think your best line of attack is putting the Tongan death grip on him. * When you put up your wife or girlfriend up in a card game for 30 days if you lose. * When you go to a dance and start dancing like Alex Wright. * You watch car racing in order to see Bob "sparkplug" Holly * When you wear your Macho Man foam hat out in public. * When you win an award and immediately spray paint "nWo" on it. * When you rate women on a scale of Chyna to Sunny. * When you begin to shake someone's hand in public but then hesitate to look for the crowd's response. * When you get into a real fight and you blade. * When you do heel turns on your best friends for no reason. * If whenever you walk into a party you tell them to "cut the music." * When anytime anybody asks you a question, you "grab the mike" and yell, "MEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAN GEEEEEEEEEEEEEENEE!" * When you die you mustache blond while leaving your beard black. * If you keep waiting for run-ins during boxing matches. * After an argument with a friend, you shake hands, hug each other and then after you raise both yours and your friend's arms in the air, as he looks to the side, you clothesline him. * If you think John the Baptist Bladed. * If you wonder why Bob Backlund's campaign for the presidency never got any press. * If you carry a foreign object in your underwear. * When you go into work you insult everyone you see just to draw heat. * If you're a Honky Tonk Man impersonator instead of an Elvis impersonator. * If you wore spiked shoulder pads during a football game. * If you loose a job, you change your look and name before starting a new one. * If you find out that you have been fired by calling up the company's hotline. * If you purposely blade yourself while shaving. * If you suspect your best friend is just setting you up for a heel turn. * When before a fight, you give away a pair of sunglasses to a kid. * When you go to a funeral and assume that the deceased just lost a Casket Match. * When your king-size bed has ropes and turnbuckles surrounding it. * If you paint your face and don't speak to your co-workers * When you go to your daughter's softball game and start a "we want blood" chant. * If you get into an argument with a friend at work and challenge him to a loser must retire match. * When you see a fight in the streets and call the moves. * If at a ceremony at your work to give out awards to the employee of the year, you "turn" and slam a chair across the recipient of the award's head...then you immediately grab the mic and start talking about how YOU deserved the award. * If you refer to all the women in your work area your valets. * When you keep flour in your underpants (just in case). * If you refer to The New York Times and The Wall Street Journal as rag sheets. * If you wondered why Vince didn't borrow money from Ted DiBiase to prevent WCW from "buying" it's wrestlers. * You start every sentence with the words "Well, ya know, Mean Gene..." or "Let me tell ya something..." * You refer to everyone you talk to as "brother." * Every time you see someone yawning, you get an uncontrollable urge to thrust your fingers down their throat and screech uncontrollably. * Your children are named Crippler, Hitman, and Hollywood. * You get hoarse on purpose so you can sound like the Macho Man. * You hold a wrestling tournament for an aluminum foil belt. * You constantly play really bad air guitar on your foil belt that you cheated to win. * On Halloween, you pull a Jericho and steal all the trick-or-treaters' masks and then claim them as "prizes." * You get kicked off the school wrestling team for chokeslamming your opponent. * You cried when the Giant went nWo. * You took bagpipe lessons just so you could play Roddy Piper's theme music. * You get in fights with people who say wrestling is fake. * You fenced in your bed, so it feels like being in a steel cage. * You throw your VCR away when you can't find Rick Steiner on your copy of "Gremlins." * Your best friend is a microphone. * After your parents ground you for a week, you refer to them as "heels." * You try to write to the admissions office at S.C.U. * You dress your dog up as a "Hulkamaniac." * You use the phrase "Too Sweet" more than 45 times daily. * You try to impress your friends by telling them Bobby Heenan jokes. * You honestly believe that "TBS" stands for "The Brain Station." * You think "No Holds Barred" should win an Oscar. * Your greatest accomplishment in life is mastering the sleeper hold. * You roped in your backyard and you get together with friends to throw chairs around. * You requested "3:16" as your new license plate. * You think a tilt-a-whirl looks fun. * You think that The Giant is a "sissy." * You put white-out on the faces of your action figures, and then draw black marks on their faces. * You give crotch chops to the opposing team during a softball game. * You feel sorry for jobbers. * You light your bed on fire and fight your brother in it. * Your teacher gives you detention, you give them a Stone Cold Stunner and walk out of class, flashing your middle fingers. * You leapfrog over people while playing football, then you turn around and clothesline them. * You publish a shirt that say's, "Jay Leno 1-0 Who's Next?" * Every time you sit down at a table you consider how easily it might break if you were to moonsault it. * You constantly deny that Brian Christopher is your son. * After you beat someone up, you spray paint their back. * You chokeslam your cat. * You elbow smash your dog and turn him/her over for the three count. * Instead of reading a bedtime story to your kids, you put them in a sleeper. * When you put your kids to bed, you tell them to "Rest In Peace." * You get fired from work then show up the next day wearing a mask. * Instead of opening a can of tuna you open up a can of whoop ass on your cat. * In the school cafeteria, you come up behind a kid and hit him with a chair and look around for crowd responses. * You walk down the aisle at a church giving high fives as the people hold up signs and chant your name. * You won't come out of your room until your parents play your theme on the radio.

I want to thank the gang for their kindness
Fantastic Four - ok this movie is probably getting higher marks cuz of my low expectations- but I enjoyed this flick-I thought that Julian McMahon(Dr. Christian Troy on Nip/Tuck) was excellent as Victor Von Doom/Dr. Doom and that they did a good job casting this flick- sure the plot/story was your typical hero origin story- the chemistry of the team was spot-on -from the juvenile barbs between Thing and The Human Torch to the rivalry between Doom and Reed Richards. Not the top of the super hero comic book movie food chain but more enjoyable than Daredevil or The Hulk. C+

Broken Lizard's Puddlecruiser - a cute campus based romantic comedy about a guy who falls in love witha girl that also dates a rugby player from another college.Not as over the top as Super Troopers or Club Dread - this movie feels like Outside Providence - the more realistic feeling boarding school romance flick the Farrelly brothers did in between their more over the top movies There's Something About Mary and Shallow Hal . This movie had lots of subtle comedy sprinkled throughout and seemed to capture the going to college vibe perfectly-not worth seeking out or anything- but a good diversion on a rainy day. C+